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08 September 2007 @ 10:58 am
"I'm the Store-bought Chica Queen!"  
Yeah, she said it.  How stupid is she?  Today, she was cooking with mom and did anyone notice that she never said, "please" or "thank you?"  What an asshole!  Everything she made looked completely disgusting.  It also seems to me, even though she is Latin or whatever, that she uses the Latin names of the dishes to make them sound more fancy than they really are. 

She really put me on the edge when she said she was the store-bought chica queen, referring to a store-bought squash like vegetable that was cut in half when she had a whole one on the counter.  Who does that?  All she had to do was cut it in half!  She also called herself a "shortcut chica," but FN already has one. 

That bread pudding looked absolutely disgusting, too.  Why did she cook it on the stove for an hour?  That sounds a bit unnecessary to me.  The whole thing cooked for an hour and half.  Pouring an egg into the hot milk practically guaranteed a lumpy consistency to that shit.  To make it even worse, she put it into little cups and made her guest eat it with a cinnamon stick, as if it were a chopstick.  She is a complete waste!  She could die tomorrow and I wouldn't even care!
 
 
 
nasty_sammienasty_sammie on September 8th, 2007 05:50 pm (UTC)
O.K. I watched this show today for the first time, mainly to see how stupid it really was. It did not disappoint, this show was completely hideous. A Latino version of Rachael Ray, who needs it? Unlike Rachael's and even Miss Sandy's shows that seem to take half an hour, this show seemed to take half a day. I won't be tuning in to Heil Hoffman any time soon. She sucks. Point me in the direction of the nearest Taco Bell.
uhhuhhimuhhuhhim1 on September 8th, 2007 06:17 pm (UTC)
I won't be tuning in to Heil Hoffman any time soon. She sucks. - LMAO!!! Heil Hoffman...LOL!! That one made me laugh my ass off..thank you, sammie. :)
nasty_sammienasty_sammie on September 8th, 2007 11:11 pm (UTC)
Hey, i'm glad you liked the Heil Hoffman joke. I thought it was kind of funny myself.
uhhuhhimuhhuhhim1 on September 8th, 2007 11:29 pm (UTC)
Maybe she'll shout "Heil Hoffman" as she holds a Heinz ketchup bottle....LOL!
dolohay on September 9th, 2007 03:53 pm (UTC)
What the Hell was with that giant thing to squish polenta? I could do the same thing with a knife and my hands and not have to worry about storing another piece of nonsense in my small kitchen.
uhhuhhimuhhuhhim1 on September 9th, 2007 08:01 pm (UTC)
I could do the same thing with a knife and my hands - Speaking of that, who would want to eat double-fried, double-greasy plantains? I kind of laughed when I saw her mom flattening them with a frying pan and ziploc bag while she used the gadget. Mom's looked even and round, but Inbred's looked all fucked up.
kim002 on September 10th, 2007 02:43 am (UTC)
She really put me on the edge when she said she was the store-bought chica queen, referring to a store-bought squash like vegetable that was cut in half when she had a whole one on the counter.

I think she was using frozen yuca. She said that it's "practically impossible to peel." If that's true, how did the company peel and freeze yuca? Maybe she doesn't have a designated item called a yuca peeler (like her stupid ass plantain smasher), so she doesn't know what to do.

Also, she said that frozen yuca can be found in most grocery stores. While I have not checked, I can pretty much guarantee that my grocery store does not have frozen yuca. At least Raytard tells her viewers about items that can be substituted in place of what she's using. It doesn't matter that most of the time, these substitutions are completely stupid, but at least she gives suggestions.
uhhuhhimuhhuhhim1 on September 10th, 2007 05:26 am (UTC)
If that's true, how did the company peel and freeze yuca? - Exactly. Plus, she could've cut the one she had on the counter into individual halves and then used that...It doesn't make sense.

isis_raenisis_raen on September 12th, 2007 03:23 pm (UTC)
The store-bought chica. Huh? Am I the only one that thinks that statement sounds just a little condescending?? Why did she feel the need to put "chica" in that sentence?? The store-bought dumbass would be more appropriate.

And what the hell would her price tag be if she were sitting on a fucking shelf at the store? She'd probably go just for entertainment value - not any real use to anyone.
uhhuhhimuhhuhhim1 on September 12th, 2007 04:28 pm (UTC)
Why did she feel the need to put "chica" in that sentence?? - Hahaha. Probably to remind whoever is watching that she really is Latin.

And what the hell would her price tag be if she were sitting on a fucking shelf at the store? - LOL!! She'd probably be in one of the dollar bins at Wal-Mart.....LOL
john_cusimano on September 14th, 2007 01:38 am (UTC)
I Love My Wife Rachael
Hi, I like chicken, Ingrid Hoffman doesn't let me chilidog her. But she DOES strap it on while fucking me in the ass while my wife Rachael straps on a 12" strap on cock and shoves it in my mouth.. Now theres a good time.. I like to fuck while on the rag, on the period, riding the red wave, fucking while the aunt flo is visiting.. It is hot
(Anonymous) on September 17th, 2007 05:17 am (UTC)
Re: I Love My Wife Rachael
Oh, Scotty, you sick fuck, grow up and get a life.
mickik on October 4th, 2007 08:11 am (UTC)
Her, Sandra Lee and Bobby Flay need to pack their suitcase and head to the local rehab asap!!! I think you HAVE to be drunk to eat any of their dog food.